Monday, July 27, 2009

The Monday Funnies

It was once said that the British and the Americans are divided by a common language. It may also be said that Christians are divided by a common book, the Bible. So folks, it is time to check up your Bible knowledge. Here is today's Bible quiz... hold your groans to the end...
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triump was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
PS.. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . 'He-brews'
Thanks for Lori for digging this up on the internet somewhere; cartoon by Dave Walker.

1 comment:

Ginger Greene said...

You forgot about asking "who is the shortest man in the Bible?", to which the answer is "Bildad the Shuhite." I learned it from my grandmother.