Monday, March 21, 2011

The Monday Funnies

Here is a great combo: Church-dog jokes. Thanks to Pat Hill on the Fiat Lux production staff for sending these along. Where he gets them, I have no idea. Enjoy your Monday funnies . . .

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This Baptist couple felt it important to own an equally Baptist pet, so they went shopping.

At a kennel specializing in a particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Baptist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks as well.

This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks. Well, they said, "Let's try it out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.....

They had been deceived. He was a Pentecostal. 
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Here are 7 examples of what our dogs have been saying to God:

1. Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

2. Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

3. Dear God, When my foster Mum's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What's he been rolling around in?

4. Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

5. Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street.

6. Dear God, Are there posties in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

7. Dear God, When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?

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